• Connie

The Secret To Happiness

Updated: Jan 24, 2020

Secret to happiness

"Happiness is a choice, not an achievement. Nothing will make you happy until you decide to be." - Ralph Marston

We all want to be happy. There is not a person alive who doesn't want to be happy. So many of us strive and work to find happiness. We are continually searching for it as if it were a hidden treasure. We dangle it ahead of ourself, like an award for achieving a goal. We say things like, "I'll be happy when....' It is maddening to desire something so deeply, yet it seems out of reach. We begin to question if we don't deserve happiness. It makes us feel lost, depressed, and hopeless.

"What do all the happy people in the world know that I don't?" you ask.

There is a secret to happiness.

It is so apparent that when I tell you what it is, you will be shocked you didn't see it before.

The secret to happiness is CHOOSING TO BE HAPPY.

I told you that you were going to be shocked. It's true you already have everything you need to be happy right now, TODAY!

Happiness is not something to be obtained or achieved. You never arrive at happiness. You will never buy enough things to be happy. The perfect outfit will never magically bring you everlasting joy. Your level of joy will never be dictated by how much money you have in the bank (or lack of funds). Sure, having enough money to meet your needs makes life easier. But, money is not a cure for depression. Look at all of the multi-millionaires, and celebrities who are miserable and even commit suicide.

The bottom line is happiness, and joy comes within.

You choose how you feel.

I know what you're thinking, "But, my (insert Name) is making me miserable, they said this and did that." Let's get something straight. As much as we would like to blame others for how we feel, our feelings are our own. You are not a puppet. No one can reach into your heart and make you feel happy, sad, angry, or disappointed. If you believe that others control your feeling, then you will never be satisfied with your feels. Others will always behave in a way that you disapprove of. You may not like their actions, words, or attitude towards you, but, it is up to you how you feel.

Being happy is a practice of behavior, like any other. Now, that you acknowledge that your feelings are your own and that happiness is a feeling and state-of-mind, how do you implement new patterns of joy into your life.


What your day, month, and life look like if you chose to be happy regardless of your account balance, love life, health, or job? Remind yourself that YOU control your feeling and you decide to be happy. When someone cuts you off in traffic, breathe and think, "I am happy today." When someone says something that may rub you the wrong way, think, "I am happy today."


As soon as your eyes open in the morning fall in love with life. Say, "I love this morning. I love my bed. I love this person next to me. I love the sunrise. I love this cup of coffee." Appreciate everything you notice about your day. This practice is two fold. First, you are showing gratitude for the abundance in your life. Second, the feeling of love is the most definite feeling of joy and happiness a person can have.


As humans, we are easily persuaded to feel a certain way. If we see, hear or read something horrible, our emotions can be hijacked and moved to feel angry or sad. You must guard your mind against negative influencers. These could be the news, a Debby Downer friend, or a book about unfortunate events such as murder. Feed your mind with inspiring books, funny movies, and uplifting friends.

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Asheville, NC 28684

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