Feeling Trapped in Life?
Updated: Dec 2, 2019
"Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong." - Anonymous
I know what it feels like to feel trapped in a life you don't love or even want. I grew up in an abusive home, youngest of 6 children, in a small rural town in Utah where the thinking was small and dreams where crushed. My childhood life was about enduring.
I was an enthusiastic, stubborn tomboy who had big dreams! I never was one to fit in the mold. I wanted to be a movie star, own a mountain, and travel the world. These dreams seemed pretty impossible for a scrawny country girl in a small farming town where the one thing you should be was to be like everyone else. I felt like a trapped animal in a cage, desperate to get out. I felt like I was dropped into the wrong life and had no way out. As if there was another dimension where my true self was supposed to be. So...I did what most of us do, I buried those dreams and went on as everyone else around me did, playing my part.
By the age of 24, I was in a loveless marriage with a 4-year-old boy and a newborn baby girl. I was a captive in a life I did not want. The weight of my reality pushed me into a state of deep depression. I could not see a way out of this life. After all, I was an uneducated, young mother of two small children, who didn't have a job or any money of my own. How could I change my life? I felt hopeless, trapped like I didn't have any control of my destiny.
I looked at my blond little boy and redheaded baby girl and made a promise to myself that THEY would never feel this way. I swore that I would raise them to know that THEY have the power within themselves to do and be anything THEY want. I would instill in them self-confidence, open-mindedness, and courage to believe that there are NO limits in the world except the ones they put on themselves. Looking back I realize that sometimes you can be stronger and want better for those you love than for yourself. My love for my children was far greater than my love for myself. Never underestimate the power of a mothers love.
It was through my burning desire to empower my children that I found my own strength, and courage to believe in myself and follow my dreams.
I began to listen to the empowering words I was telling my children and I applying them to myself. I started reading self-help books, went to therapy, found Yoga and meditation, and in the processes I found myself. Not some carbon copy of what others thought I should be, but my TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF. I found my courage to divorce my husband and started acting again (which is where I met the love of my life). I attracted into my life a kind, generous, gentle, funny man who has been the cornerstone of our family.
Guess what? That little, scrawny tomboy from Utah got her wishes granted. I HAVE been in movies and TV shows. I HAVE traveled the world. I DO own my little slice of a mountain. My children were raised knowing that if you believe you can and work hard, anything is possible. My son is a successful entrepreneur, and my daughter is a professional ballerina in Europe.
I am here as proof that YOU can achieve anything you desire. You can break out of your cage and fly!
Change is not easy.
It takes believing and trusting yourself.
It takes working on yourself.
It takes vulnerability.
It takes great courage.
But change is not half as painful as staying trapped in a life that is not your own.
YOU are worth it!